New Season

Ah! I love fall! It is my favourite season, always has been. It's the last day of August and summer is fir sure over. Still dark the the morning when I get up and that chill is in the air.

For some reason this year feels different. Something in me has licked into high gear. Some people feel an excitement and renewal in the spring but I am feeling it right now. Big time. It's like my own fall version of spring fever. My mind is overflowing with new ideas, dreams and plans. I don't even know where to start to tell you.

First let's go back a bit. Josh and I took a week off working out after the Spartan Race. Felt it was needed. Then we did a crazy thing and went to Manitoba for the weekend. 32 hours of driving just to stay for a little more than 24 hours. We did get somewhat of a workout pounding tires though. I was quite sore. I will explain later. My topic was more about workouts. Had a good one last night. Josh missed Tuesday because but I went and encouraged a friend to go along. The WOD felt good and I finished strong. Even helped my friend finish hers. Was super proud of her as she had some big anxiety about going to Crossfit. She went and I felt super good about helping her get there and finish. Did two kipping HSPU in a row too. Progress! Last night there were lots of people at the gym. Bree who used to work there came for the night and they did a special workout. I said they because I opted for the regular one. It was insane!! Anyway I choose the sprint workout. Josh was shocked as I always have said I hated running. We did 16 rounds of sprinting 100 m with a minute rest in between. Took just under 21 minutes! Boy was that hard! To my surprise though most of the others working out were done in the same amount of time too! Josh did awesome! And after I climbed the rope higher than I ever had before! Not quite to the top but again progress!

Now let's talk Manitoba. We have made some contacts with a couple who is building an earthship by Winnipeg. They got a mortgage for it! We had been told this was practically impossible. We saw they were just in the beginning stages and decided it was now or never. We went out, filled some tires with dirt by sledgehammer and met some great people. They are helping us out with their process and tips of what we should do to make this dream happen. I told Josh that people who are making their dreams happen have this different kind of energy. This couple, our farmers, others just like them are inspiring to me! I also noticed that it would be easy to see these people and get down on myself because I am not doing more, but instead I feel they have something contagious and it has passed on to me! We have a renewed fever to get our earthship dream happening.

I am also getting more into this wellness coaching idea. I think it would be so cool to be a wellness coach and help people better their lives. I have experienced what it has done for me and want to share. In fact I have shared it and know people have made improvements because they have seen Josh and I do it. I have decided to take a wellness coach certification and start that process. Probably won't be able to take the seminar until November after our Turkey trip but that's okay. Fro now I am recruiting "guinea pigs" to practice on. I made a post on facebook awhile ago and got some encouraging responses. I have been buying some books to start a bit of a library to lend to people to get started. Probably will just be part time at first. I don't want to quit my job just yet. The only reason for that is if we want to get a mortgage I'm sure my secure, decent paying job I have held for 8 years would look better on an application form than "self employed" for only a few months. lol.

Another idea that has been ticking my brain is starting a Paleo Food truck. They are becoming more popular in my town and I just think it would be a really neat thing to do! I have always admired the lady who started Peppermint Andy's for starting her ice cream truck. I may have someone even interesting in going in with me. Even if it is just a daydream I am having fun with it.

Along the lines of food and sustainability (including earthships) all of a sudden I have a great interest in learning how to preserve and can food. It goes right along with the diet changes Josh and I have made, whole foods and being more off the grid. If the world goes to hell in a hand-basket having a self sufficient home and lifestyle will probably save our bacon! (possibly literally too). Fall is the prefect time for this and I have gotten library books to do research and bought some on Amazon.

Summer has been SUPER busy! I have  enjoyed every minute of it but am ready for things to slow down. I want to spend some time at home, especially in the kitchen making things (even though it is much too small and can get frustrating). I love fall! :)

Adventures in Racing

Well I survived my first Spartan Race this past Saturday! And boy was it tough. On a motocross track in Calgary in almost 30 degree heat. Pure craziness. 1 hour and 7 minutes which I thought was a decent time. Failed more obstacles and burpees than I would have liked but what can one do? I got mad a few times and swearing. Not proud of that but I got over it, finished and learned. Josh did awesome, and I held him back as unusual. The GoPro video looked good but it missed the very last minute of my finish though the tough Spartan guys. Again, too many damn burpees.

Things I learned:
1) It is more fun when you have people at the race you know. Even if you don't run the same heat or at same pace as them you still get to hang out before and after.
2) I didn't realize that some of the obstacles I think you could try again if u slip - like a couple of the walls. I should have tried again.
3) Ask for help. I helped someone over a wall and for the life of me have no idea why I didn't ask the same. Too stubborn. I really swore about that one doing my burpees.
4) Bring your own wash station. The line up here was much better but still waited about an hour to get washed off. The same amount of time we spent racing, which seems silly. We're going to buy one of those camp showers or something to bring.
5) Those obstacles seem to be made for long limbed people. I'm just gonna have to get over it and find a way.

It was hard, and I'm not going to lie at some points in the last half of the race I was NOT having fun. Josh as always was super patient and didn't leave me for long even when I told him to go ahead. I really do have an amazing guy.

Now to plan what's next? Will have to comb all the race schedules and see if there is anything left in Western Canada before next spring. I'm really not sure, but I do know we will do more! Just not right away ... I'm still recovering. lol  

Heck Yes!!

Oh yeah! I achieved one, or at least a part of one of the things in my fitness bucket list last night. I had been feeling kinda lazy lately since the Mud Run. I messed up my knee and so wasn't doing a whole lot of working out. Then when I got back to it I messed up my neck a couple times. Been to physio and will keep going to address that.

Anyways WOD last night was some back squats (not feeling as strong with those as I used to) then 10 rounds of 5 wall balls and 150 m row. I was last and it was kinda tough but I have to say my wall balls have been worse before so that is a positive.

After the WOD we were stretching and stuff so I decided to try my handstand push ups again. Last time I tried i got one of the ab mat/pads and put it under my head. I couldn't quite go down far enough to touch it with my head before I felt I had to come back up. I also tried a kipping handstand push up. Didn't happen. Those involve resting your head on the mat, bending your knees and kicking up. Your head comes up a bit and then you push up to the handstand. Last night I was able to do two HSP's in a row touching my head to the mat! Sweet!! Then for kicks I tried the kipping and wholly shit I did it!! Not sure how as it didn't feel like I gave that big of a kick but I pushed right up into it! My second try after celebrating the first was not as graceful and I almost got stuck in the middle but I powered through!! SWEET!

It's the next day and I'm still smiling!! lol

Food

Since starting Paleo in October of 2011 I have slowly been coming to the realization of how simple food can be, but it really hit me today.

I have always hated paying for things that I knew I could make myself, but because of lame excuses like "I don't have the time" we seem to go buy it anyway. Pisses me off actually. So when yesterday I came home and lifted the lid of my crock pot I was so happy! And still am the next day actually.

I made home made applesauce. Yep, I did. Why is this such a big deal? Maybe I am weird but I am stuck on how simple it was. Apples and cinnamon. Core, peel and put in crock pot for 8 hours. I didn't even have to be home for the cooking! Mine was in for ten hours and when I got home stirred with a spoon and done! Didn't even have to throw it in food processor. Look at a jar of it in the store. I'm sure it has many more ingredients than that. The stuff I made has no sugar and doesn't need it.

I also bought an ice cream maker. I debated it for so long but decided to splurge. Hopefully in the long run it will pay for itself if it stops me from buying ice cream. It seems to be my weakness this summer. Only "real" hard ice cream is what I buy from Peppermint Andy's or the little pink store on Ross Street but still has dairy and sugar. Not to mention the waffle cones they must come in. My ice cream maker will only be fed coconut milk. Last week I made my first batch. Again super simple, and only 4 ingredients. Maple bacon flavor. Pretty good and fed Josh and I for two nights. I'm thinking of making another type and taking it to my step dad's birthday party this weekend. Save us from eating cake.

Next step seems to be making sauerkraut. Josh bought a jar for it and I think he has done enough research. Just gotta get some cabbage and we should b ready to go!

We have made a new resolution to avoid sugar. I am now seeing a naturalpathic doctor and turns out I have candida. It's an overgrowth of yeast in your belly. And guess what it likes to eat? You guessed it, sugar. She identified some other things we need to work on to get my body more balanced. I am keeping an open mind and hope it clears up my eczema and help me get pregnant. The kinda weird thing she found was I have a low temperature and blood pressure. She wasn't too concerned since I haven't reported feeling dizzy. But I have been having lots of mild headaches lately and would like to learn why.

It's all a jouney though. It was nice to hearthe doctor say that due to my diet I was ahead of a lot of other people ho first come to see her. :)

Busy days

Wow, last post was July 10th. I knew it had been awhile but yikes. I was on holidays from the 12th to 24th so will have to try to remember all that I did! My plan was to get things done around the house that had been neglected but of course not much of that happened.

We did go on a river canoe trip and did a short camp trip last weekend. Does this count? lol. And the Mud Hero was just this past Sunday! It was sooo much fun! Even though I did hurt myself at the end. I baseball slid into the last mud pit. Rocks at the bottom. I forgot all about my bad knee that took me out of derby and that it didn't like that type of impact. Kinda put a damper on the finish when I had to limp. Oh well! Was still worth it. We can't wait to do the Spartan race in less than a month!

As soon as I figure out how to post pictures in here I will write some more. I usually so this on my work computer so don't have any pics on here.

I feel like a neglectful blogger!

Why do we do the things we do?

What is it about human nature that causes us to do things that we know are bad for you? We know what the consequences will be and yet we do it anyway. I think maybe it is the feeling of that instant gratification. I have heard that when it comes to food we are wired in such a way that when we come across high calorie, tasty food our goal is to get a much of it as possible as you never know when it will appear again. This is all fine and dandy in paleolithic times, but now we have this high calorie, tasty and bad for us food on every corner. Unfortunately our wiring is still the same and we indulge. Too often and too much. 

During the week I do quite well staying away from all this temptation. The weekends are a different matter. I don't usually go crazy but have more treats than I  should. I figured out this may be the reason why I always feel lower energy at Tuesday night WOD's.

Yesterday was Monday and back to work day. Stopped in the morning for a Chai latte and told myself that was my treat for having to go to work when I just wanted to be home with Josh. At lunch I went to the store for errands and had barely an issue avoiding all the candy and temptations there. But on the way home from another walk I wandered into the Mac's store. This started in part because I did not have any "sweet" n my lunch. Usually we have fruit on hand and Josh puts some in my lunch with coconut flakes and honey. I usually crave sweet after I eat my lunch and this does the trick just fine. Didn't have any yesterday though. I went in fooling myself that I would look for some fruit. Instead saw a milkshake machine they had. Open the cup of ice cream and stick it in a cool machine that will mix it for you. I went for it part for the evenly and partly cause I told myself it would help me cool off. (Was 30 degrees yesterday).

Of course it was super yummy! But not long after my guts were rolling and the bathroom was calling. I know better. Any fake food is bad but fake dairy? Even worse. My discomfort did not last long but the guilt stayed. My main symptom when I eat food that my body does not like is headaches. As the night went on I developed a good one. Bad enough to take some Advil after I went to bed. Another fail. I used to take them a lot until Josh's concern helped wean me off.

And so another promise to "be better". You would think after all this time we would have a strategy for this. Some say cravings are your body craving other things. The way we eat is so much better than before and we are getting much more nutrients. I think it is more about the feelings we get when we eat the food. Josh might agree. He is addicted to M&M's. Not joking, it really seems to be an addiction at times.

One good things is that we will not be able to find anything like those on our river trip coming up. Taking some canoes down the Red Deer River to Drumheller. Should take about 4 days. I am looking forward to it. That will be the start of my holidays from work. I had taken it off as we were panning to got o Denver for a Zombie Run but Josh couldn't get the time off. Hell he still hasn't gotten Friday off and we leave Saturday morning. Leaving me to try to get he canoe and everything else ready. Not too happy about that. But anyways, I think I am going to enjoy being off work and having no real plans besides the river trip. Not sure the last time I had a holiday when it wasn't all planned out.

The week after that is the Mud Run!!! Eeeee! Getting excited. Josh and I went for a run on Sunday in the blazing heat. I woke up early and told him we should go run. He Gave me this bleary eyed look and asked "who are you"? I didn't have an answer or explanation. We did the same loop but the opposite way which starts with a long incline. Wasn't sure if that was a good idea but after the hill I recovered ok. By the end though I was spend. Kept repeating to myself "just keep moving". It was so hot. But good news, we beat our times by at least a minute I think. We have averaged about one run per month since we started and have improved each time. Happy with that. I guess we will see at the Mud Run if it was enough! ;)

Thoughts

It's been a week since last post and there's some thoughts I wanted to get out of my head and on to something permanent. I don't know if it will help or not but who knows?

First though I think I am making a bit of progress on my rope climb. Got a little higher up on my try at the gym last night. The rope still hurts the top of my foot like hell though. Was a good workout too. I used a higher step for the box jumps. Gonna try to raise the bar a little each time I go. Just a little. Don't want to get too crazy. ;)

Getting excited for the Mud Run! 16 days away! We have planned a canoe river tip next weekend for four days. Funny but it seems both of us are more excited about the run. Weirdness.

Okay, so for my more serious topic. I have been thinking and researching a bit about going back to school. Relatively speaking I have a good job as a probation officer. Government job and pension (someday), and the pay is good. However lately it seems as I have lost some interest in what I do. It's hard to explain, but part of my job is to hopefully help or be the push people need to change their lives. I know there will always be some who won't and that's fine. People make their own choices no matter what, but it has been getting tiring seeing them make bad choices over and over again. We are not allowed to physically slap sense into them so it gets frustrating.

I like talking to people. I like helping them help themselves to improve. The thought I had one day was that I would like to have a client base who WANT to come see me. Not seeing me because they have to. For this I would need to be some sort of counsellor or psychologist. This means going back to school. While watching a movie called 50/50 I had one of those "it would be cool to to that moments". It was about a man who was diagnosed with cancer and he started seeing a counsellor to help him deal with it all. This interested me right away. Turns out there is a field called health psychology.

While thinking about this avenue I also heard the term Wellness Coach on a podcast. It is sort of like a personal trainer (without actually working out with them) where you help people with their health/fitness goals. You don't make a plan for them but motivate and encourage. This only requires a certificate and I guess you could have your own client base or join with other health professionals. Even some big companies are employing them for their employers. Also interesting.

My dilemma seems to be evolving. The university allows me to get my masters online which is great. Expensive of course as any school usually is and will take about three years. Then I still must register with an organizing body in Alberta and maybe jump through some other hoops. The wellness coach thing I could take a certificate, for much cheaper and take much less time. But there is no real regulation in the industry. The biggest downside is that with both careers I could start out making a lot less than I am now. It could eventually turn out to a higher salary in a few year, but no guarantee.

So the debate. Josh feels if I would be happier doing this then there isn't much question. My sticking point is why leave a good job and possible pension for less money? I sometimes feel like why spend more money on schooling to earn less? Does not make sense to me. I think making less money might make me unhappy. Not in the material sense, but as in more stress to make ends meet. Especially if we want to have a family. Why put more stress on Josh as well?

I think the masters program is at least $18 000. This is a lot of money, especially when I think about how far that money will go towards our dream of buying land and building a sustainable house. We have been taking about his for a long time now and have been saving to try to make it happen. If I go to school that could severely delay these plans and that's something I don't want at all. Once we have built the house I can always consider school then. Or even take a wellness coach certificate in the meantime and do that part time.

I actually found myself saying last night that I probably was willing to stay in a job that I am losing passion for to help make this dream of ours come true. I know some of my thoughts on this sound crazy to Josh. Maybe they are a little crazy. I have always admired people who can make a living with their passions or interests and would always tell others to go for it. On the other hand, living in the country and building this house is something I really want to so whatever I had to do to help make that happen I'm still following one of my dreams.

Right? 

Bucket List

I saw a saying on facebook just now. It said something like how about adding "be a nice person" to your bucket list. Any asshole can jump out of a plane! Love and and totally agree.

I reminded me of my fellow crossfitter Becky and her blog she wrote the other day about a fitness bucket list. Great idea! We always have the big lists of things we want to do before we die and so on, but those are usually big dreams and plans that we may never make happen. Or wait until we see our demise coming and then scramble to get them done. Now fitness goals on the other hand can be worked on each day and progress seen so much quicker.  I have achieved things since starting crossfit I never thought I could do. Hell I never even comtemplated wanting to do them!

So what are my fitness goals? Well I thought about some after reading Becky's post and came up with a few, but I know there will be more. I think I got Josh thinking about it too. Maybe he will post a comment of some of his when he reads this.

I had some fitness goals I was working on at the gym, but they seemed to have gone by the wayside for some reason. Just other things and WODs to do there I guess. Do a kipping pull up was one of them. I actually took a special class at Ignite just to help with this. It certainly did help and I can now say I can do one of these. Chin above the bar and everything! :D At one point I could string about 6 together in a row, but it seems I have lost my rythm and things are spotty at best. I was getting frustrated, but later reminded that just being able to do them in the first place is an accomplishment. So I will stop whining. I can still do about 6, one at a time, but would like to be able to do them smoothly. So I guess that makes one obvious goal.  

I think for now my list will not include numbers. Those will come after the skill is mastered me thinks!

(1) Be able to do smooth, strung-together kipping pull ups!

I had also been working on handstand push ups for awhile. My max is 4, fairly shallow, ones. Nothing like the pros. I think this is a bad ass looking skill and want to learn to do more!

(2) Be able to work up to bad ass handstand push ups and any other variation thereof!

Josh was able to climb the rope pretty soon after we began crossfitting. It stil pisses me off that I can't do it. I mean literaly I have had to stop trying due to getting mad. My issue is the rope between my feet. It hurts like hell when it is draped over the top of my foot and I step on it to get up. I either need to find a less painful way or just condition by foot to suck it up. Good news though is that at last try I got up to 2 good pulls up the rope (a couple times) before I quit because of my foot.  

(3) Be able to climb that damn rope up to the top!

Reebok has a big competition of crossfit athletes who get together to see who is the best of the best in crossfit. You get there by completing a series of workouts and if you so well in your region and so forth you move up. Anyone can register online and see how they do. I didn't feel I was ready as there are prescribed wieghts for the WODs and I felt I would not be capable of using those wieghts. I was so proud of Josh for entering and doing the WODs! I did some with him (of course with ligher weight than I was supposed to) and it was HARD! He did great and I am super proud of him!

(4) Do the crossfit open next year

We have some 5km obstacle races coming up. One July 22 and August 18. Mud Hero and the Spartan Sprit.

(5) To finish Mud Hero and Spartan. If things go well do more and longer races. The longer Spartans and Tough Mudder perhaps.

(6) To do a Run for Your Lives event. A zombiefied obstable race in lots of places in the US. Wanted to do that this summer but could not swing it.

(7) Do the West Coast Trail. I'm putting this as a fitness goal but it could go in another category of just trips to take. But it is a week long backpacking adventure so have to be pretty fit for that.

That's all I can think of for now, but I know there will be more. I'll add as I go. Good thing I have a blog so I can type more anytime I want!

Later! 

Sleep Really is Wonderful!

Ahhh! We all know sleep is important but do we ever truly put that knowledge into practice? I know I don't. It was quite a weekend with the Relay and we still seemed to be tired on Tuesday night. I think being up all night and sleeping in so many days put us out of wack. Not to mention for some reason neither of us slept well Monday night. So Josh and I made a deal, if we skipped the gym then we were to go straight to bed after supper with no TV! Sounds like something your parents would say but it worked! Josh fell asleep very quickly and I was not far behind. Feel really good today! I did feel a little like a wimp for not going to the gym, but I listened to my body and it was telling me "I feel crappy" so I didn't go, but still did something healthy instead. Must remember how good I feel after sleeping well, maybe I'll do to bed early more often even though it is so hard to do in the summer!

Let's see what else ... Relay for Life was good. No rain this year so that was super amazing! Also has some people come out and walk with us this year for some shifts. My parents, Josh's sister and her friend came in the evening, one of my friends for a late shift and Josh's mom. She stayed quite late and I was impressed. My parents came back at about 4 am and walked. Josh and I finally sat down and fell asleep for a little bit. I thought I was a trooper but he barely stopped all night! Love him for that! Saturday we slept until about 4pm. Went to a back yard campfire and that was about it. Sunday was a sort of lazy day. We took a drive to see some properties for sale and then supper at my parents' house. Monday some grocery shopping and then Yoga in the Park. Loved that!

We ended up booking the Turkey trip that I mentioned in my last post. Yikes! We are going for 19 days at the end of October. Decided to stay in Amsterdam for a few days on the way back from Turkey as it didn't cost any extra on the flight. Then we thought later though that even though the flight isn't any more money, being gone longer will be. OH BOY! Time to squirrel some money away - hardcore!!

But as we are supposed to be saving money we went out and looked for property. Our living out on the country bug has bitten again! Josh is also back into looking at earthships and I think I am ready to let that be our decision on our house design. Earthship is an unfortunate name as it makes people sound like complete quacks when they mention them. Basically it is an off grid, sustainable type of housing that is made of recycled tires and materials. With it's own greenhouse inside! Really! People can grow indoors and eat what they plant! Too cool! As a city girl I have been somewhat nervous about thinking of living too far from a big city but I thin I am almost over that. I have even been liking the idea of small town life. Not living in one mind you, but close to one so I can just visit, or even own a business. Hey who knows, if I even do get my Masters in counselling I could open up my own practice.

So serenely strange how dreams can shift and evolve ..... 

Update?

So it's been a week since my last post and I am nit sure what to write but keep having this urge that I should. I think mostly that comes from one of my original fears that I would start a blog and not keep it up.

So what has been happening? Not that much really. Life is ticking along quite fast. We did another garage sale for Relay and raised some more money. I have to say that I am quire sick of hosting garage sales and will not be doing one for awhile. It also meant that I missed another Saturday farmer's market day. :(  But the Wednesday market is tonight and I will be going after work. I asked Country Thyme Farms to make me a pot of planted herbs. I'm excited about it! Lame I know, but Josh planted some green onions and yesterday I planted some cat grass for Jenkins. I do not have a green thumb in any way so this could be interesting. We are still waiting for poop from the worms. They are chugging along but it seems slow. Have a container of food for them in the freezer waiting. They can't keep up! lol

I also am looking forward to Yoga in the park this summer. I had no idea they did this last year and I so long to go! I missed Monday and there were pictures on Facebook that made me so sad I missed it! It's possible for me to make it after work to the classes at 5:30 if I take my yoga stuff in the car with me and leave a few minutes early from work. I have my fingers crossed for today but the weather keeps calling for rain. It's also supposed to rain Friday for the Relay. I'm praying that at least one year I will be allowed to walk all night without getting wet. This year my not be that year though.

Oh well, what can you do?

I should go back to my earlier posts and look at our "want to do list" and see what we have been able to do so far. The last few weekends have been taken up by Relay stuff. Josh announced to me today that there is a flight sale to Turkey and he wants to go. The trip would not be until later, like November to April but still! And the sale ends tomorrow morning! Talk about trying to get me to make a tough decision with no notice! I'm not good at that! All I think about is the money and all the other things we wanted to save money for. Not to mention what if I finally happen to get pregnant. Could we still go? Josh said we are on the verge of making the jump to responsible adults and this might be a last chance to go somewhere.

I thought I was a responsible adult!! I'm seven years older than him so I sometimes assume the adult role in the relationship. Which can be good and bad. He also tried to entice me with calling it a baby moon. The get away couples go for before their child is born. That all works dandy if I was actually pregnant. Nothing still and it is close to that time of the month where I will find out if I am or not. These have been the hardest times. The last few times I have built it up so much (even while at the same time telling myself not to) and then been disappointed. Last month Josh and I had an argument and it turned out it may have had to do with that. He feels the pressure too and then has to deal with my reaction and his own disappointment. I never really realized how low the odds are of getting pregnant. Maybe a two day window in the entire month, and of course since I'm over 30 it can be even less. When I talked to the doctor he just gave me a knowing look like he has heard my plight before and to give it more time. At least he agreed that if nothing happens by end of summer we can start looking into it.

That's about all I got. Starting to get excited for the Mud Hero coming in July. I must say I have never in my life actually wanted to go running until this summer. I even chose to run for last night's WOD instead of row!

Who is this person I have become?  ;)

Why I like rain.

Let's start with a quick weekend recap and then I will get to my reason for such a crazy title!

Saturday we were up early than our usual sleep in routine. Was a Relay for Life Tailgate party. Basically an outdoor fair for all the teams trying to raise money. We did pretty well, but there could have been a lot more traffic if we were down by the farmer's market I think. It's coming down to the wire and I'm happy with our funds raised but am a little sad we don't have many team members. It would be nice to have more than 3 of us walking all night. *sigh*. I didn't make it to the market but at least Josh did.

Anyways Saturday we were wiped out. Josh has thought we should rent a canoe on Sunday and practice in the river. After an argument in the morning, over our differing communication styles about the canoeing and making up, we headed to Valhalla to get one. As it turned out someone had rented all the canoes they had for the day. Boo! So we decided to go wall climbing at Collicutt. Wall is only open in the evenings - Boo again.

Earlier in the week we had agreed to go for a run on Sunday and I actually still wanted to go. I convinced Josh we  needed to do it and we went to Kerrywood nature centre to do the 4km loop. 26 min 9 sec. A better time than I thought. I had guessed we took about ten minutes longer. My legs were still tired from out last WOD of sumo dead lift high pulls and the stairs licked my butt that time. I was proud of Josh for still coming even when he really didn't want to. It had finally been my turn to push him into working out and I succeeded! It used to be the opposite! I wore my new pair of Vibram Spyridon trail running shoes. Got a good blister on my bunion! Hope I can get back into them next time without too much pain. I am really getting excited for Mud Hero. We watched a Run for your Life zombie run video on facebook and it looks so awesome! Already have a list going of things we want to do for next year!

Over the weekend I got an email from Mike, the Steel Pony farmer. We bought a share in his farm. They deliver a box a week of veggies to you from July to October. Since June I have been very impatiently waiting for this to start. For some reason I had it in my head that we would be getting veggies in June. When we first signed up we offered to lend a hand whenever he needed it. Now was our time! We headed down the the farm which is just by Fort Normandeau. We were there for about 5 hours and learned a ton! I realize now that I could never be a farmer. It takes so long for things to grow! But it was neat seeing Mike excited when he noticed some of the plants coming out of the ground that were not there a week before. We also found out we had some similarities in thinking and interests. Was cool. So this is why I now like rain!! Bring on the veggies, garlic and herbs!!

It got me thinking about Mike and his girlfriend, who is co-owner of the farm, and a girl I knew through derby that just started her own ice cream truck in town. After hearing his story of how it came about that he started his own farm and thinking of Andrea I decided it is a supremely brave thing to do something like that. To go it alone in an area that you have never done before and just learn as you go. Mike said he is still learning and it is his second year of running the farm. Inspiring and scares the hell our of me at the same time. I have been toying with the idea of going back to school to get my masters in counselling, but it all seems so daunting. Not to mention all my questions of what happens or what I do when I get done. Go it alone in my own practice? Where would I get a job? Just thinking about it again makes me nervous.

I don't know what the answer is but it's been interesting seeing Mike and Andrea make a scary decision and just do it! Inspiring to see but not good in another as it kind of puts the question right in my face. "If they are doing it, why aren't you?"

Perspective

Hey peoples! Wanted to tell you about two opportunities I had yesterday that gave me a new perspective on life and what we consider our place in the world is. These chances don't come everyday; wonder why I had two in the same one. Maybe I just happened to notice them instead of letting them pass by as I move through a busy life.

First was our Crossfit WOD for the evening. The workout is usually posted the night before on the website or facebook page. The one yesterday turned out to be a tribute to a friend of the people who own the gym. A good friend passed away after a battle with cancer.

"Randall"
Run 500 metres

3 rounds of:
3 Thrusters 95 lbs for women (I did 70 lbs)
4 Burpees
9 Pull Ups
21 Box Jumps

500 metre run

Before getting to the gym I thought a lot about this workout. About how since my mom was diagnosed I have realized how far reaching this disease really is. How I am lucky to be here on this earth and healthy enough to even be able to do this workout. About how things could have been different as I could have just as easily been mourning someone I cared about too. I felt for their loss.

Right from the start this workout felt difficult. There are days once in awhile where my energy seems low and things are tough. I felt it in the first few hundred metres of the run. My mind started to dread the rest but this workout was for someone who fought and lost to cancer and I knew I had no excuse whatsoever to not give all that I had at the time. Even if I didn't think it would be my best. I made it through with what I feel was a decent time for me (16 minutes and 42 seconds). Josh seemed to be having the same day as me and struggled. It was on his face during the last run. The WOD left us nauseous, weak and just not feeling very good at all. I said on the way home that it was fitting - multiply it by 1000 or even more and it might be close to what chemo and/or radiation felt like. At least I knew the feeling would be temporary for me.

After we got home we collapsed for a bit. Then my second opportunity for perspective was revealed. When Josh started telling me about his day I realized that I am not the only one who works under a system that is broken. I work for the legal system as a probation officer and I'm sure we all have a story that shows how messed up things can be. I never thought about it that much but our health care system can be the same. Josh is an EMT and he encountered a few people who the system should be helping but isn't doing a very good job. He asked me something to the effect if I ever have days where my faith in the system is tested. He knew the answer, but I never saw that there was a potential for it to happen to him too. I love him for caring about these people and questioning why institutions that are supposed to help or protect people sometimes do the opposite. I used to see what he does as something that always helps people. Much more than what I do. And I'm sure we both do, but it is so much easier sometimes to find the examples of failed opportunities.

But he did tell me that he got a thank you from a random person in a store. In the past I have gotten a few heartfelt thank you's as well. We should hold on to those as they can be few and far between. And some people in our professions might never get one. Thank you to that person who was brave enough to give a a complete stranger, who just happened to be by wonderful boyfriend, some appreciation. More people should do the same. For strangers and those we care about.

  

Getting comfortable on the water.

This weekend was really nice. We relaxed and took it easy. Finished up some camping laundry and chores on Saturday. Oh and the farmer's market! Our first time this season. It was great - except for the crowds. We sleep in and by time we ride our bikes there it is around 11 and busy. Makes Josh grumpy. So not sure the solution because we really like sleeping in! lol But we did find some huge ass turkey legs at one of the food stands. I seriously mean huge! People were staring and commenting. A paleo/all meat breakfast for sure!

Sunday was a great day. One of those good weather and everything works out as planned day. We went to Bower Ponds for Vahalla Outfitters demo days. Wanted to try out a canoe. Probably a good idea if we are going to do our river trip in July. Seemed to go well. We didn't tip and Josh did a good job of steering. It was huge so will be able to fit gear and stuff. We'll be renting one (even though Josh wants his own now) for the trip and will probably go another day on the river to make sure we can handle it. Also tried a kayak. My first time so it felt somewhat awkward.

I also tried a paddle board! They had a few kinds and when I saw people trying them out at first I thought no way! But everyone seemed to be doing well and no one had fallen in by the time we finished trying boats. Nervously I decided to get on, fearing I would be the first person of the day to fall in. Turned out to be a cool experience. Even got bumped by a little kid in a kayak who couldn't steer and only a little wobble. Would have been a much different situation if either of us were at higher speeds. I for sure would not have been happy to get dumped in the water!! Unfortunately I couldn't get Josh to try. He said he didn't have as good balance as myself. I think he would have done just fine, but I could not seem to convince him to try. That's when I realized he seems better at convincing me to do things I'm unsure about than me convincing him. Made me a little sad. Well maybe more pouty as in "no fair" than sad.

After all that paddling we were starving. Good thing we planned ahead and brought some smokies. I was pretty sure they had free wood for the fire pits at Little Chief park, and they did! Josh brought his axe and we (mostly he) made the best looking and cooking fire there! He is the absolute master of fire making. Didn't even need paper. I try when we camp but I suck at it and he usually has to fix what I have already tried to do. lol

After we had to have ice cream. We were trying a 21 day sugar detox thing but Josh fell off on Friday and Sunday I was the one who brought up ice cream. So we have changed our agreement. IF we do not have any sugar during the week we are allowed ONE sugar treat on the weekend. As long as we do something active the same weekend as well. On top of our regular gym visits of course. I think this is totally doable - well for me at least. I think Josh was thinking about getting M&M's yesterday. ;) At least it should help us cut down on sugar while still being allowed ice cream. How can you not want some on a sunny summer day? Did I mention we now want an ice cream maker? To make our own ice cream with coconut milk and honey/maple syrup - got some paleo cook books with recipes already.

All in all it was a relaxing weekend, and just what we needed. We looked at June and it's gonna be busy!!

Did I mention I want to go paddle boarding again?  ;)

Slurrp!!

I have been feeling quite like a sponge lately soaking up all kinds of information and learning things on a ton of topics lately. I have been subscribing to blogs and "liking" any facebook page that interests me lately. Paleo, crossfit, homesteading, earth building, even home schooling if you can imagine. (As soon as I can really figure out how to link things here I will throw out some good blogs that I like to read) I think it took awhile but I finally realized today that facebook has totally changed for me. It went from negativity and dread that at anytime the next post or message could induce huge levels of stress, to positivity, motivation and a place to find information!

Well what do you know? I like this new facebook!

Or maybe I just finally figured out how to use it the right way.  ;)

A Camping We WIll Go!

Ah! Our first camping trip of the season is under our belt. We went to Waterton Lakes National park. A favourite of ours. Overall it was good. A rainy day on Monday caused us to pack it in early, but that gave us a day to relax yesterday before both going back to work. 

I had Friday off and used it to prepare for the weekend. It was our first camping trip since going Paleo (and we're doing a "no sugar policy" for 21 days) I kept thinking that packing food could be a challenge. Turns out is wasn't at all, just a very different menu. We took bacon, eggs burgers and smokies from Big Bend, which is much better quality than what we used to take. Took way more vegetables and fruit which was a change. No more easy store bought potato salads and stuff. Also no more chips and junk food. Oh and Josh made  a version of Laura bars - nuts, dates and other goodies blended up and cut into squares. Those were so yummy! We actually brought too much food! I remember constantly eating during camping trips but this time we ate two big meals a day and a snack when we were hiking or biking and we were good! Very different and crazy when I think about it. 

We headed out early Saturday for our 4 hour drive. After Calgary the scenery is quite nice, especially when nearing the Pincher Creek area. This year Waterton was so much greener than May long last year. Again we saw a bear within five minutes of being in the park. Pretty close to the car this time! We got our spot at Crandall Lake campground and set up camp. We have a "new and improved" smaller tent this year. More Josh's style than mine. With much smaller sleeping mattresses that are ON THE GROUND! Ugh. Not my style at all. Josh also thought I packed way too much for the entire trip. I'm a car camper, and while I don't think I'm high maintenance he is very minimalist and would be happy to backpack into the bush with only one pack on his back. Anyway we did our set up and inevitably we got grumpy at each other while setting up. Always seems to happen. Good thing we are a get over it pretty quickly couple. We tried having a nap but just ended up laying down for awhile. Our neighbours were playing Aqua songs and it made us giggle. Why do others think that everyone else likes the music they play?  A quick bike ride about the campground to the nearby river, supper and a fire. We were in bed before it was totally dark out! Sad. lol.

Sunday morning we went to town and perused the Outfitter store there. Learned that bear bangers are illegal in National parks. Will just have to be loud then to keep the bears away! We went to the other trailhead to hike up to Crandall lake. There is one by our campground but we did that one last year over quite a few parts of snow covered trail. This side was supposedly easy so we wore our Vibram shoes instead of hiking ones. Wasn't bad. Downside though was since you had to pay more attention to where you were stepping it wasn't always easy to look at the mountain scenery. The lake is a small one right up in the mountains. The trail ended in a tiny spot on the water's edge just big enough for a few people to stand. We headed back and around to the other side where there was more of a beach and camping area. VERY windy there. We checked out the hike-in camp sites there. I thought they were okay. Not much privacy between them. We saw a little path that we follwoed, thinking it would take us the rest of the way around the lake. It did for awhile but it seemed to run out and we were bushwacking for the last 20 min or so. We came out at the small spot where a family was eating lunch. We got some funny looks and I explained that there was a path when we started. They seemed a little less confused about what the hell we were doing.

We got back down just fine and drove the rest of they way up to Cameron lake. Boy was there snow there! They had plowed the parking lot and made a path to the lake area. At some points it was even over Josh's head! The lake was still snow covered and frozen. I didn't realize it was such a tourist attraction and it was pretty busy there with people taking pictures and stuff. Reminded me of Banff with all the foreign tourists. We found a fairly quiet spot and had some lunch of lara bars, berries, beef jery and coconut flakes. Yum. We went back down and spent a little time in town. Busy again so we got out of there as quick as we could.

I wish I had taken pictures of our meals. But the phones were put away and I didn't want to break the camping vibe. Turning off the electronics can be nice, and needed every once and awhile. We ate and enjoyed the fire while each of us read. We were able to stay up a bit later.

Oh I forgot about Josh finding a tick on my stomach!! Silly us we didn't check ourselves after all that bushwhacking. Especially since I found a tick in my hair last trip to Waterton. I had even changed some of my clothes and we happend to be in the tent when he saw it on me. It had just bitten and he got it off. Freaky!! Yuck! He thinks I probably got it from the wood pile when we stopped there for firewood. I cringe to think of it. What if we just happened to not be fooling around and ticking each other at that right time? Eep!

Monday morning we woke up after a night of heavy wind and it was drizzling rain a bit. We wanted to go for a bike ride but just weren't sure what the weather would do. We didn't want to just sit around camp tho either. So we said let's just do it and we went. We started up the mountain towards Red Rock Canyon. Was that a tough ride or what? There were a few points where I thought I could have jogged faster than I was peddling. We stopped only a couple times for a drink of water. Probably about half way up it started raining harder. When we got to the top it was pouring. Oddly enough I was still okay with it. Felt like a big accomplishment that we just peddled up a mountain!! We found a trail that went into the woods and took that for awhile. This time we felt like we were actually mountain biking. The trial wasn't too rocky, but it wasn't long before my legs would just no longer peddle. Josh went on for a bit and I headed back. Stopped a couple times to watch the rushing river in the canyon below. There aren't many things like being in the mountains. Hard to describe. He made it back after not too long, we had our snack and headed back down. And it really was down! By the end we were soaked but had fun! Josh got up to like 30 MPH by the end of the roadway! He went whizzing past me and beat me to the campground turn off. Into the tent to dry off and stay warm. Nap time too.

It didn't seem to want to quit raining so when there was a lull in the weather we made ourselves crawl out, had a cold lunch and packed up. We made record time I think. Teamwork at it's best! We headed to town for a coffee to go (didn't find anything good), but had ice cream instead. We found a kind called Screaming Brothers that was made from coconut milk, sweetened with honey and flavoured with natural extracts. We were pretty impressed, and it's made in Lethbridge by two young kids. And we didn't break our no sugar rule! (We had already determined honey was allowed. Josh got some from the Ponoka farmer's market and it is delish!!) We made it home before 10 pm but it felt like a long drive.

Tuesday we spent unpacking and putting things away. I hate that part. And there's the laundry to get done too. All and all it was a good trip, we were excited to get away to hike and use our new bikes. The bike rack we deciced to get worked well. And we bought an annual National Park pass. Made us feel special.

Can't remember what we planned next but I think the next big one in the river trip in July. Gonna float down the Red Deer River for 4 days. June should be busy with getting ready for the Relay for Life. Have had a lull in momentum since the garage sale so will have to get on it again and sell some raffle tickets!!

Amazing Things

Have you ever had a moment when you realize you have just accomplished something you thought you never would? I'm sure we all have. We plan to do things and they get done, but I find the unexpected accomlpishments to be just a touch sweeter.

This weekend we went for a bike ride out by Olds. Nothing crazy but we peddled about for awhile in the country. We came upon a big hill and slowly made our way to the top. When we finally got there I realized that a year ago there would have been no way I would have made it all the way without having to stand up and peddle or get off my bike. Kinda cool!

Yesterday we went for a 4km trail run. Out behind Kerrywood Nature Centre. Have I mentioned before that I hate running? I think I have. But since we are doing the Mud Hero and Spartan Sprint this year I figured we better do some practice because I at least want to finish the races. We started off and after not that long I was already hating it. Josh is able to go much faster than me, and I try to tell him to just go ahead and do his thing but he usually stays pretty close. I think this helps me actually as I try to at least keep pace a few feet behind. I just kept telling myself to get to at least a certain point in the trail. Then when I got to that point I set another mark in the trail for myslef. I was suprised that I was making it up the hills and even recovering quickly before the next. I just about didn't make it up the stairs though! Doing them two at a time with these little legs was not easy! But we both did the whole loop without stopping. Not being a runner I was pretty happy with myself. Josh seemed to be hapy too. What really struck me is that I have never had the goal until that day to run 4km without stopping. Why not?

Cause I wasn't in shape! I was in okay shape a year ago but not like I am now. Doing things with your body that you never expected really makes you see how much change occurs. I think I like change. :)

Where Have I been?

Wow it has been a week since my last post? Seems much longer.

Let's see .. where have I been. Last weekend we had a garage sale Saturday and Sunday to raise money for our relay for life team. Saturday was soooo yucky with the rain! Having my sister, Josh and his mom there helped make it not so bad. We did well money wise! This is about the 5th year I have had a team in the relay. My mom was diagnosed with colon cancer about 6 years ago. She is doing fine now but it deeply affected us all. I have tried to get on things earlier this year to try to avoid some of the panic and feeling that I could have done more. I ususally feel this every year when the relay comes. I think we have done more this year already than last. So a win for us!

In the middle of Saturday's garage sale we took a belay course at the collicutt. It teaches you how to be the partner on the rope for soneone rock climbing. Josh had signed us up before we decided we should do the garage sale. Good thing we had helpers! We did this for two hours and rushed back to the sale.

After tearing down the sale on Sunday I was pretty pooped, but next morning I was at the gym! It seems I have become some sort of leader for two of my friends who have started paleo and crossfit. I brought them to Crossfit Mommas class. They loved it and plan to keep coming! So happy! Seeing them feel so much better after only a week of paleo is great too. And as an aside the WOD was a 2000m row but since there was not enough rowers I grudenly decided to run. Twice around the BIG BIG block and I may hav been goign pretty slow but I did not stop once! Impressive for me. The fact that after doing the math and realizing it was 2km made me feel even happier and more confident being able to do 5km for our Mud Hero and Spartan races.

The rest of Monday we kept busy until the evening and went to take our belay test. I was a bit nervous as of course I don't want to drop Josh when he is climbing. When I wasn't tying my rope properly over and over again I became pretty frustrated. He was patient as ususal. We both passed and can now climb the walls at the Collicutt! I ased Josh if it was just for indoors and he assured me that's all we would be doing for awhile. So guess who convinced me yesterday we should take an outdoor climbing course in July! My lord!

So after a busy Monday off, my work week started again. I was off to Calgary overnight to take a couple courses for work. We are much better than we used to be earlier in our relationship but Josh and I still hate being away from each other overnight. The king size bed I was in by myself felt much too big! Looked for Fiver Finger shoes downtown and they didn't have either of the brands I want. Neither did Red Deer when I checked. But I did pick up some needed camping gear and I am excited for going to Waterton next weekend. After getting home last night I put ingredients for bone broth in a crock pot and this morning had a nice warm batch of it. SO good! Much better than last recipe and in the crock is so easy! Also made supper last night for when my man got home. Felt like a rock star cook!

I'm still doing some catch up at the office and then I do my monthy drive to Coronation tomorrow to see clients. That's a two hour drive each way from Red Deer. Yikes. And on Monday I work in Lacombe. I didn't realize how little I will be in the Stettler office this couple weeks.

Tonight is gym and Saturday I think we are going back to Calgary again! Silliness! I don't think I have been this busy since I was single and was never home! It felt nice to be busy when there was no one there to come home to anyway, but I have always had a bit of a homebody side too. Slowing down and spending time just with my man feels so much better !    :)

People Know! :")

Well I guess the cat is out of the bag somewhat. I found out last night that a couple people I actually know (besides Josh I guess) are reading my blog. Eep! I have not told my family, or anyone for that matter, that we have been trying to get pregnant so it felt a little weird for the girls at the gym to know. We hadn't planned on telling anyone since I put enough pressure on myself let alone having family waiting and asking if we had succeeded yet. But oh well! Not a big deal! My family is not very technologically savy do I doubt they will stumble upon my blog without me telling them.

Crossfit last night was good! I think I am liking the strength part of the new system. Josh really likes it but I knew he would. We had a group chat after we were all done too. Talking paleo and nutrition and just life stuff. I thought that was nice!

I just read Becky's blog and she talked about having a moment where she felt overwhelmed by baby coming and not knowing what to do. I feel her pain in a way. I had my own freak out yesterday, but mine was over something that I didn't need to get that worked up over. I realized I was overreacting but just couldn't stop all that negative self talk we all do. I really don't know where it was coming from. I had some anxiety the other day too. Just felt it in my stomach. Not sure what is going on. Especially since I have been feeling so good since deciding ting to relax about TTC. (trying to conceive - might as well use the acronym to save typing time).

Is is hormones from being off the pill? Did my worry about TTC just move to the subconscious level and this is how it bubbles up? I don't know. I asked Josh if my "freak outs" were becoming more frequent. He didn't want to answer poor guy as he thought they were too. He said at least they don't last long and that is true. By the time I had driven towards home for ten minutes I was already calm. But what if they get worse? He just told me we would cross that bridge when we came to it. A common answer of his. Sometimes frustrating but more because I know he is right.

But this time I felt no frustration, only a calmness. Today my own self talk says not to worry about problems before they are even problems. Yes, they might become problems one day, but then again they might not.

Today's a Good Day!

Just wanted to check in. I wasn't sure how often I would be able to post. Not just because of being busy (pretty sure I won't be putting anything up on the weekends), but also because I wonder what I am going to talk about. I just don't think my life is that interesting. But I shall blog anyway!

Yesterday ended well. Work and getting ready for a fundraiser garage sale this weekend had me quite anxious by the end of the day. I feel totally unprepared for the sale, as I always feel before events I do. However by the time I left work I was determined to let it all go and not think about it. I have to say I think I did well. Normally I let myself stew or worry but when I began to do it yesterday I would just shoo the thoughts away until next time. Then shoo again. I kept busy getting groceries after work and preparing dinner. Next thing I knew Josh was home and it was time to get to the gym.

The gym was great last night! I felt really strong. I think part of it was making sure I had some sort of snack at home about 45 minutes before I got there. Seems like when I don't have a bite to eat I don't feels as energetic and sometimes sickly when I'm done. Not last night though! The gym has started a new way of doing things where we work on a warm up, skill of the month and a strength move before even starting the WOD. We don't get out of there as quick as we used to but I can see how this way we can make more progress. I did learn that I need to push myself more. Our coach Jasmine is always telling me I can take it a step up and when I do it seems easy. Not sure why I don't think of it myself and just do it. Odd as I like to think I am pretty confident. Maybe I'm really not.

I did back squats with 75 pounds and it felt good. I have always had big strong legs from playing sports. A lot of this new stuff is based on the highest weight you can lift one time. I have no idea what that is most of the time and just guess based on the last time I did that move in a WOD. I think in the coming weeks we might try to find out what some of those weights are. Josh invited me to try it with him next week so I will.

I noticed to that my running seems easier. When first started crossfit we seemed to do a lot of runs outside. Like 200, 400 or 800 metres. I HATE RUNNING! I have never really minded sprinting but running long distance sucks for me! But last night seemed easier than when I first started WOD's last summer. Maybe I am getting better at stuff. Good thing because we signed up for two obstacle races this summer. 5 km. I realized only after that we will probably have to do some running to get ready. BALLS! That's a bit of a lie. I am starting to look forward to it a bit. Buying the five finger toe shoes might be helping.

I know! I always thought they were weird and freaked me out thinking about having my toes seperated. Not to mention the "trendy" factor that sometimes keeps me from buying things just to spite trend. But the more you think about it the more it makes sense. I have always read that shoes are bad for humans and makes our feet muscles weak and since getting into paleo community it's not all about eating. It's also about how our ancestors lived and why our bodies were made the way they are. Bare feet makes sense. Even though it is going to hurt for awhile getting used to it. After a bad first experience trying them on (I think I blogged about it in my Money, money, money blog) I tried them on again and they felt good. Having the right size probably was the key. Now I want a pair, and of course with my usual luck no one in town has the style I want in women's size. Arg! This always seems to happen the me. I hum and haw on something and pass up chances to get them and once I decide I want this item it seems to have vanished from easy reach. Bah! I will get some just not as fast as I probably want.

But such is life eh?

Money, money, money!

Spring has come and as I said in my first blog post we have so many plans for things we want to do. It's really very exciting except after dropping a bunch of money this weekend the cheapskate voice in my head has awakened and begun to talk.

Last month we had our bikes stolen out of our shed. Ya, a total piss off as Josh would call it. Very frustrating and not just the thefts but insurance and all the after effects. I won't go into it as most people know how shitty red tape is. So this weekend we went to get our new bikes. It was one of those things that we thought we better replace now or we never will. And we for sure want to ride our bikes this summer and take them camping with us. Which means a new bike rack or hitch for Josh's new Forester. Ack!

Speaking of cars another few hundred dollars dropped this weekend on a coiuple new all-season tires for mine.

Looking for new shoes as well. Trail runners. Looks like will be going with the new Vibram Five Finger shoes. The ones with the toes. I thought they would feel so weird, but after trying them on for the second time (the first time I has such a hard time getting them on I wanted to throw them at the sales guy) I think I like them too.  Once again Josh getting me to try something new - a good thing!

We still need some camping gear before the season starts, not to mention the cost of just going camping and doing the things we want to do. I know that fun things are what make life worth living and not much is free in this world but still .... I can't help worrying a little that it might throw us off our goals. I don't have a lot of worry that it will but just a little. We have been doing very well saving, especially with the fact that both of us do not have a great track record with finances, so I cannot see us stopping that now. Even more with the fact that our neighbourhood has done to shit and more then ever I just want to get out to the country

I guess it's all about priorities. Like how we now probably spend a little more on our food than we used to but we know it is better healthier food so we don't mind. We just spend less on other things and I don't even remember what those other things are so I must not miss them!

And then there's baby! I do not want to even imagine financial costs of that! But once again this weekend we figured out how much we are on the same page (at least about some things). ;) We both seemed to agree that we don't need to go crazy buying baby things and we are  just fine with plain furniture and supplies. We will let all the excited people buy the cute, trendy stuff. 'Cause you know they will anyway. Josh told me to hurry up and get pregnant then as he wants this just as badly as I do. Funny thing is that when he said that it made me realize that I have relaxed about it and have resigned myself to wait until it happens.

But waiting sucks!!!  :)

Success!

Morning! I have been thinking this morning of two successes I would like to share. I fell share is a good word and in the same vein as my being positive goals. Bragging had always had a negative connotation and it seems women, from my experience, don't like to be seen as bragging about themselves. But we should share more!!

First one is the other week I was able to fit in to my skinny jeans! And it wasn't a fluke as I'm wearing them again today! It sounds like such a cliche and I have always thought that this should never be a goal of losing weight. I have also always thought that you shouldn't hang on to these said clothes simply for the hope they will fit again. It's depressing when you don't. The reason I helped on to them was not out of vanity but of cheap-ness (maybe another flaw of mine). I paid good money for them at a nice store and hated the thought of donating them. So in the drawer they sat. I have another pair as well but haven't tried them on to see if they fit yet. Anywhoo, this will certainly not be a goal of mine to try to fit into everything I once wore and trust me I have gotten rid of other things that I cannot believe I was small enough to wear at once time.

The really great thing about it thought is that for once in my life I have not been trying to loose weight! Josh and I went paleo in the hopes of feeling better and getting healthier. It certainly worked and a side effect has been a fair amount of weight loss.

Second success is that last night I was in a much better mood at the gym! I had a good workout and am happy with what I accomplished. Hurayy!

I think I might have just thought of a third success. Being happy period. My silliness is back and judging form Josh's reaction it must have been gone for awhile. But at least he seemed happy about it too!

Feeling Good

Feeling really good today! Seems like something has been lifted and I feel happier than as of late. It was brought to my attention the other night that I have been quite down on myself lately about several things.

We have been trying to get pregnant since about December. No one else really knows we have made this decision and thank god since it hasn't happened yet. I have been putting too much pressure on myself about it and so can't imagine how much pressure I would feel with others wondering how it is going. I know I should relax about it and I have read all the stuff about what to do and what not to, I just can't seem to help feeling tense about it. I have these irrational worries that I have done something wrong to prevent getting pregnant or that for so long I did not want to have a child that the universe gave my chance to someone else who wanted it. I know, crazy.

I have always had the personality flaw of being too hard on myself when I think things are not going right. I really think it has gotten better as I get older but I have had a bad bout of it recently and I'm sure it is because I am not pregnant yet. And that has spread to everything else, including crossfit.

I was listening to a podcast yesterday and this morning on the drive from and too work. Podcasts are another thing Josh got me on to. I knew they were out there but never bothered to look into it, or maybe just did not think I had anything interesting to download. Listening to them I have realized there are some super smart people out there and am envious at times. Anyways on the Underground Wellness podcast he had someone on who wrote a book called A Philosopher's Notes. One of those guys who have found a way to live their best life and all that. It was about fears holding you back, goals, and all that junk we always hear about and that I have looked up or read before. However it came at a great time as I obviously needed a reminder and renewed perspective on things.

My love Josh always does very well saying the right things to reassure me and I think it seems like I don't listen to him sometimes but it isn't that. I'm slow to believe maybe, or need more sources saying the same thing for me to really get it.  

Whatever it is I think I am on the road back to getting it. Or at least I have a renewed sense to try. I'm going to check out his website and see what it's all about. And probably blog about it too. ;)

Hello World!

Hi! This is my first stab at a blog of my own so bear with me! For some reason I cannot really explain I have been wanting to have one of these for a little while now, but was avoiding it due to the impression that I think I am not interesting or a good writer. Some people say I am. Others say they blog for themselves anyway so one does not need to be interesting. lol. I'm not sure what my goals are for this but as the title suggests I'm sure it will evolve.


tran·si·tion

1. Passage from one form, state, style, or place to another.

I think maybe one reason I have been wanting to blog is all the changes, or transitions if you will, that I keep noticing lately. They have been going on for about a year and a half since I met my boyfriend Josh. Some transitions have been on my own, such as the adjustment from long time single girl to girlfriend and most recently from very active derby girl to semi-retired derby girl. This one was tough.

Other transitions we have done together. Like starting a paleo lifesyle and doing crossfit.

And we have plans for future transitions. Like moving to the country and building an eco-friendly, self sustanable house. Trust me, city girl to country girl was not a change I even thought I would want to make but is becoming much more appealing by the day!

Plans and goals and wants and activities are just swimming in my head right now! I think it is the transition from winter to spring that stirs these things up for all of us. A new start, a new chance to do the things we didn't last year. I've been making a list so I try not to forget.

Hey! That's something I could put in my blog now! lol